Wife (angrily) 😑: I don't believe this..
You forgot my birthday again??
How can you do this..
     
Husband: How can you expect me to remember your birthday when u never look older..!
Wife (clears her throat & smiles)☺☺ : Jaanu, Sacchi..
πŸ˜›Husband in his mind- "saala sahi time pe dialogue aa gaya..warna khatam tha tu aaj 😜😜 !!"

Husband Forgot Wife's Birthday

A man Goes to the Police Station with His Head Bleeding badly .

SHO : What Happened ?

Man : my Wife Hit me !!

SHO : Why ?

Man : Her Parents Came Over, She asked me to Get Something from Outside for them.

I brought a Taxi 

Wife's Parents Visits her Home and Wife Says

A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate,
then he took another one and then another ...

A man next to him said, "Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth"

The boy replied, "My grandfather lived for 132 years"

The man asked ,"Was it because of eating chocolate?"


The boy replied, 
"No,he was always minding his own business!!!!"

A Boy Eating a Chocolate and his grandfather lived for 132 years

Manager cracked a joke and all employees laughing a lot , except one....

Manager asked him... 
"You didn't like my joke or didn't understand it...???".

Employee: i had already resigned and serving my notice period πŸ˜‚
πŸ˜‚
πŸ˜‚
πŸ˜‚

Manager Cracks a Joke

"Hello Madam,
We are offering you, a Credit Card, with best deals....
No Annual Charges, No Interest On Balance For 3 Months, Big Credit Limit & No Penalty For Overspending..!"

Smart Answer By The Lady:
"No Thanks, I Have A Husband With Lifetime Zero Fees, Unlimited Limit, No Interest & No Penalties and no re-payment For Ever..!!" πŸ˜πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜œ

Call from call centre


Killer joke:
.
.
The Students of MBBS were attending Their 1st
Anatomy
Class,
They all Gathered around the Surgery Table with a
Real Dead
Dog,
..
The Professor put His Finger in Dog's nose & Taste it
in His
own Mouth,
Then He asked the Students to do the Same,
The students Hesitated for several Minutes,
But atlast EveryOne inserted their Finger in Dog's
nose &
Taste it,
.
.
When everyone finished,
The Professor looked at Them & Said:
The most important Quality is 'Observation'
.
.
I inserted my MIDDLE Finger But Tasted the FIRST
Finger,
Today you just Learn,
"How to Pay Attention"
..
All Students shouted....haramkhor kamina.......saala kutta 🐈🐈.....😜😜😜😜

The students Hesitated for several Minutes

Son: Dad, U said that we
         are created by God
         and mom said that we
         have evolved from
         monkeys, Which is
         true?

Dad:   I told U about my
             side of the family
              and she told about
               her side of the
               family.
            πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ

God and mom said that we have evolved from monkeys

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.'

However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner.

His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

His response was: When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finished.' And , when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are 'Completely Finished.'

His answer received a five minute standing ovationπŸ‘
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Funny Difference between Complete and Finished

On "Whatsapp" -
Wife : Kab se wait kar rahi hoon. Ghar kab aa rahe ho, Loafer?

Husband : Abhi kuchh pataa nahi. Dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti rehti ho.

On "FaceBook" -
Wife : Dear when will you be back? You are the best husband in the world. Miss you. Come back soon.
(Status liked by 50 of her friends)

Husband : Thanks for being there always. So lucky to have a wonderful wife like you. Will be back soon honey. (Status liked by 75 friends, including sister-in-law & mother-in-law) 😜😜

Difference between Facebook and Whatsapp conversation

Come on - Lets see the world through a wife's eyes!

World's most perfect Man.... Her Father ....

World's most beautiful woman .... Her Mother....

World's most Intelligent female .... She herself ....

World's most good husband.... Her Brother....

World's most Handsome boy....  Her Son....

World's most luckiest man .... Her sister's husband....

World's most mad woman .... Her Mother in Law ....

World's most dumb, selfish, liar, miser and useless man .... ....
Should we need to tell this??? 
πŸ˜›πŸ˜³πŸ˜πŸ˜‚

Ladies excuse...just a forward.......that I recd from a lady πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Worlds most Perfect Man


A lady breaks the traffic signal...
Police : 'Stop....!!!!!' 😑

Lady : 'Please...let me go. . .I am a teacher...'

Police : 'Aahaa!!.... I have waited for this moment all my life....
Now ....WRITE ......
I'll never break a signal, 100 times...'
πŸ“πŸ“πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ˜‚

Lady Breaks the Traffic Signal

I found a leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read, 'ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW.
WE CAN HELP!'

My wife insisted I make the call.

I Called up. It was a liquor shop offer:

Buy 3 & get 1 free...!

Why my Wife insisted to make call

One disciple went to his guru and asked for an explanation on the difference between love and marriage.

The guru told the disciple :
Go to the rose garden and come back with the tallest rose plant. One condition is that you should not come back the same path you took while going.
Difference between Love and Marriage
The disciple went to the garden and came back empty handed. When asked why, the disciple gave his answer:

As I went in, I saw a tall beautiful plant But I kept going on for the next plant expecting a better plant. But moving forward, I came across only smaller plants and since I cannot trace the path back, I had to return empty handed.

The guru said: this is love

Then he said: now go to the sunflower garden and bring the most beautiful sunflower plant.
Now the additional condition is that once you pluck a sunflower plant, you can't pluck another.

Now the disciple goes into the garden and comes back quickly with a plant. The guru asks, is this the most beautiful plant?

The disciple says: No guru. Based on my previous experience, I did not want to miss and hence I took the first plant which looked beautiful to me. On the way back, I saw more beautiful plants but since I was not allowed to pick another plant, I came back with the plant I had originally picked.

The guru smiled and said: this is marriage...

Difference between Love and Marriage

7 comlicated facts about women

Ladies and Gentlemen!

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

Husband:
No...how can I think of marrying?

Wife-
Why not?
You would need company...for good and bad moments....please get married

Husband:
...oh Shona...you are so sweet....even after death u r worrying about me...

Wife: so promise me, u will remarry if I die...

Husband:
Ok, ok, i'd get married again...just for you

Wife:
Would you live in our house with your
new Wife...?

Husband:Yes, but will never let her use your room.

Wife:Would you let her drive my car ?

Husband: no...
its yours...I will keep it as your memory...and buy new one..

Wife:Would you give her my jewelry?

Husband:
No..how can I...
it has your memories attached
I am sure she would want her own..

Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?

Husband: No, never
her size is '7', and yours is 9

Wife:
--silence-

Husband:
'Shiiit'...!!!

Husband's funeral is on Sunday, please attend......

A Touching Wife and Husband Love Story